Clinging Faith

So I about fell off my couch a moment ago. The Lord never fails to tie things together. It's crazy how he's been doing that in my quiet time lately. I have to admit the temptation to put on the tv and not spend time with him today was very great. I had to pray for the strength to choose to spend time with him. My days over the past few months have for the most part been very quiet and the Lord has been beckoning me into a deeper walk with him. I keep feeling like every day has been a battle, some very hard, others easier. Yesterday I began writing down the things he's been showing me since May to hopefully remember and learn from them. In a nut shell he's been showing me how much I need "clinging faith." In March of this year while singing at the Called Conference for the TBC, I had almost lost my voice entirely. While praying for the strength to make it through leading on Saturday night the Lord brought me to an entry in the devotional "Streams in the Desert" where Jacob is wrestling with the Lord and only through clinging on to his opponent was he able to win the victory. It did not come through wrestling for Jacob tried that and finally just held on by locking his arms around the neck of his opponent throwing his weight on him. "We too will not win the victory in prayer until we cease our struggling. We must give up our own will and throw our arms around our Father's neck in clinging faith." After that battle Jacob's hip was out of place and was a reminder to him of what he had been through. I had a dear friend tell me in 2009 that my voice after going through my vocal hemorrhage in 2008 was a reminder to me of my dependency upon Christ. In reading that passage about Jacob in March of this year, I was again reminded how dependent upon Christ I am for all things. There was no way physically I was going to be able to make it through that conference unless the Lord gave me the strength. I had to cling. Cling I did, and my Faithful Father got me through it. Praise the Lord! I have been on a journey learning to cling ever since...

I just had a funny thought about that-do any of you remember the puppets that had long arms at Opryland? They just kind of hung on to the puppeteer? Well that's exactly what I've been like-throwing my floppy arms around the neck of my Savior because in Him is the only way that I've been able to find the will to move. I so have one of those and I just got it out of my attic. I'll attach a picture to this post so you can see how awesome he is. He even has a mohawk. Rock. (Just texted my bro and he remembered they were called Mopkins! =) You can see how thrilled Rio is to have him cling to her. ha! ha!

Anyways I've done a lot of clinging, spending time on my knees and being still, listening to His voice. My days seems to be lost or won depending on if I am choosing to do that or not. What almost made me fall off the couch a bit ago though was on June 21 (this year) the Lord brought me to Numbers 9:15-23 and this is what I wrote after reading that:

I feel like the Lord is telling me that he will show me where and when to go, just as the guided the Israelites. He will lift the cloud when it's time for me to break camp and show me where I am to go. Praise the Lord! May I follow you anywhere my sweet Savior-in Your time.

And then today I read this from Streams in the Desert "We sit and weep in vain, while the voice of the Almighty tells us to never stop moving upward and onward. Let us advance boldly, whether it is dark and we can barely see the forest in front of us, or our road leads us through the mountain pass, where from any vantage point we can only see a few steps ahead. (Read my journal entry 'Eating Bread Crumbs' from April of this year) Press on! And if necessary, like the ancient Israelites we will find a pillar of clouds and fire to lead the way on our journey through the wilderness. God will provide guides and inns along the road, we will discover food, clothing, and friends at every stage of our journey."

This is an ah ha! moment for me and I just had to share. It's just amazing how everything I've been reading and hearing have been so hand in hand lately. (Hand in hand! ha! ha! Clinging!) God has once again given me strength and encouragement for this day. For this moment. He will give it to you too sweet reader...just cling!